We had the largest funeral that has been held at our church since I have been pastor here last Sunday. It was a funeral for a woman who had been a school teacher in the community for almost forty years. She retired from teaching just prior to my coming as pastor but had taught first grade in this community and the adjacent one for those many decades. I knew she was very well known but I was not ready for the huge crowd that turned out for her funeral.
Our church can seat around 300 persons on special days such as Easter Sunday but we have never before had so many people in attendance that even chairs in the rear of the sanctuary, throughout the overflow, and in other places could seat them all. People were standing in the back, seated in the church library and nursery so they could hear the service via speakers, and some just sat in the fellowship hall during the service even though they could not participate due to technical difficulties in our speaker system out there.
The service was the usual funeral service we normally do at our church with hymns, scripture readings, and prayers. I presented a homily that related the faith that this woman possessed and her service to the church and the world around her. Then her daughter and grandson told stories about her life that painted the picture of the unique person that she was. Finally, a duet sang the song that her two daughters had requested to be sung at the service, a song that was originally featured in a movie but has become popular in American culture--"Wind Beneath My Wings."
This song was sung because it expressed how the two daughters felt about their mother, a woman who overcame many challenges in order to help the daughters to become independent women with families and careers of their own. She empowered them by equipping them for life through her example of someone who dealt with the challenges on a daily basis but did not give up even in the face of overwhelming odds.
How must it have felt to be a woman in her 30s, happily married with two children in elementary school and to have her husband die suddenly? Faced with the challenge of carrying on to educated and nurture her two girls, she gathered up all the emotional strength she could and pressed forward into the future with her family beside her. Plagued by health issues as a result of a tragic accident early in life, she dealt with each one as they came along and did what was required daily to keep healthy and active. She had a strong community and church family to support her, but ultimately the decision to keep moving each day was hers alone and she did that with great strength and fortitude.
Last Sunday afternoon was a beautiful Texas spring day (even though it is officially still winter, we had a bit of spring that day) and for about 500 people to give up such an afternoon when we have had few of those this winter in order to be wedged into a church facility that was not designed to contain such a crowd is a tribute in itself to this woman. Many would have looked at the size of the crowd with dismay and turned around to go home but even those standing remained for the hour that the service lasted and did not leave until its conclusion. The fellowship hall was filled with persons afterwards who returned to continue to express their words of hope to the family over dessert and coffee and tea provided by a large band of workers. The day was tiring but fulfilling in that all things worked together for good to express the love of church and community to the family who needed to experience it.
Jesus was in a house one time teaching an overflowing crowd when suddenly the roof tiles began to move and a cot with a sick man was lowered through the roof down into the middle of the crowd so that he could bring healing to the sick man. Jesus healed the man and the crowd experienced the power and grace of God among them. We experienced the same thing last Sunday among the crowd gathered at our church. God's power and grace was made evident through the presence of so many who cared and through their words and actions that spoke peace even in the face of death.
Modern life has become so busy that people rarely take the time to attend funerals anymore. Many make a quick pass by the funeral home at visitation time to say a few words to the grieving ones and then go on their way but when people are willing to block out time in their lives and devote that time to being present to others when the circumstances are not optimum, then you certainly can feel the love made manifest through such an experience. God bless those who will take the time to put their own needs and desires aside in order to be present to others who need them. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
Do What?!
An old preacher who was known for telling his congregants about the way he thought they should live would often stop mid-sentence and say, "Now, I've stopped preaching and gone to meddling." That is the way we can picture some of Jesus' listeners during the Sermon on the Mount thinking about what Jesus is telling them in the latter portion of it found in Matthew 5. This past week's lection concerned anger, adultery, divorce, and taking oaths--all things that plague modern day Christians as much as they did Jesus' original audience. Next Sunday we conclude our four week journey through the Sermon on the Mount with Jesus' next admonitions to love your enemies and not get back at others when they have wronged you. I can just picture some of Jesus' listeners saying, "Do What?!"
The ancient world had come a long way since the days of Moses leading the people called Israel through the desert to the Promised Land. Before the Exodus, the law of the land was tribal justice which meant that if someone was offended by another, then they may raid their village and kill everyone in it for revenge. After the Exodus, when the Law was given to the Israelites, justice became equivalent---an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a cow for a cow, etc. So, an enemy would not automatically murder an entire village because he was wronged. He would just murder the person whom he blamed for the injustice or steal whatever he thought was fair to recoup a loss he thought he had suffered at the hands of another.
A couple thousand years later, Jesus is teaching on the hillside overlooking the Sea of Galilee and gives a new teaching that no one would have thought would ever come along. He told them that those who are part of the Kingdom of Heaven (the poor in spirit, the merciful, those who mourn, those who yearn for righteousness) would live in a way that fits their place in the kingdom. He told them to "love your enemies". What an odd thing to say, even in today's world. Why in the world would anyone tell someone to love their enemies? After all, isn't an enemy someone that you automatically hate or at least dislike strongly? Isn't that the definition of an enemy? Exactly! Jesus' teaching was one that promoted behavior that encouraged enemies to become friends, or at least less abrasive enemies.
When I was in high school in the tenth grade, I hated tenth grade and school very much. I had subjects I knew little about but was expected to learn (such as geometry). I had subjects that did not interest me except for English which I loved. And, I had a bully who picked on me every day when I went to P.E. class. I do not know, even to this day, why this bully targeted me as the one who would bully me daily but he did not like me even though he did not know me at all. He would hit me and call me names and make my life miserable every day I went to P.E. class. Luckily, I had a coach for a teacher for that class who did not care if students went to class or not so every day I could I would ask if I could go to the library to work on other work and he would say, "Sure, go ahead" so I would go to the school library and not have P.E. class. I always got an A in the class even if I did not attend. When I did have to go to P.E. for some reason, my bully was always there to help make my life miserable during that day.
If my pastor had told me to love that enemy, I would have laughed in his face or at least later on after he said the words. When we hear the word "love" we think of romantic love or love for our family members or close friends. The Greek word used in the passage though is the one used that means to respect or imagine God's love for them. Even that definition of love is hard to apply to enemies but Jesus was trying to let his listeners know that citizens of the heavenly kingdom love in a way that earthly people cannot understand. What he told them did not make literal sense because he talked about turning a cheek so that others can hit it, giving away your cloak if someone want your coat, and walking 2 miles if someone demands you walk one mile to carry their load. All of those self-giving acts puts the oppressor in a bad light because they receive more than they demanded by force.
Loving an enemy implies wanting the best for them which is again hard to imagine if the person is truly your enemy. Wishing them the best goes against our grain because we want enemies to suffer and die if possible. At least that is the human response to having an enemy and we are all humans, even our enemies. When we try to imagine a heavenly response to an earthly dilemma, however, we attempt to see it through a lens that is like God's view of the world where everyone matters and God has love for all. God's love makes all persons to be seen as valuable, even those whom we may consider an enemy. Attempting to visualize others in a God-like way brings us from labeling another as "enemy" to accepting another even if we would really not want to try.
Going the extra mile is all about carrying a load twice as far as someone else demands. The thought reminds me of a statue that is outside the Cal Farley Boy's Ranch outside of Amarillo, Texas. It has a younger boy riding on the back of an older boy and a motto that reads, "He ain't heavy, he's my brother." A song was made with those same words. When we begin to see others as brother or sister, then the word "enemy" ceases to be one that we can use to describe them. Assisting others to become brothers and sisters is what we are about as citizens of God's Heavenly Kingdom here on earth. God help us all to have eyes that can see the worth in others even when it is the most difficult thing that we think we can do.
The ancient world had come a long way since the days of Moses leading the people called Israel through the desert to the Promised Land. Before the Exodus, the law of the land was tribal justice which meant that if someone was offended by another, then they may raid their village and kill everyone in it for revenge. After the Exodus, when the Law was given to the Israelites, justice became equivalent---an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a cow for a cow, etc. So, an enemy would not automatically murder an entire village because he was wronged. He would just murder the person whom he blamed for the injustice or steal whatever he thought was fair to recoup a loss he thought he had suffered at the hands of another.
A couple thousand years later, Jesus is teaching on the hillside overlooking the Sea of Galilee and gives a new teaching that no one would have thought would ever come along. He told them that those who are part of the Kingdom of Heaven (the poor in spirit, the merciful, those who mourn, those who yearn for righteousness) would live in a way that fits their place in the kingdom. He told them to "love your enemies". What an odd thing to say, even in today's world. Why in the world would anyone tell someone to love their enemies? After all, isn't an enemy someone that you automatically hate or at least dislike strongly? Isn't that the definition of an enemy? Exactly! Jesus' teaching was one that promoted behavior that encouraged enemies to become friends, or at least less abrasive enemies.
When I was in high school in the tenth grade, I hated tenth grade and school very much. I had subjects I knew little about but was expected to learn (such as geometry). I had subjects that did not interest me except for English which I loved. And, I had a bully who picked on me every day when I went to P.E. class. I do not know, even to this day, why this bully targeted me as the one who would bully me daily but he did not like me even though he did not know me at all. He would hit me and call me names and make my life miserable every day I went to P.E. class. Luckily, I had a coach for a teacher for that class who did not care if students went to class or not so every day I could I would ask if I could go to the library to work on other work and he would say, "Sure, go ahead" so I would go to the school library and not have P.E. class. I always got an A in the class even if I did not attend. When I did have to go to P.E. for some reason, my bully was always there to help make my life miserable during that day.
If my pastor had told me to love that enemy, I would have laughed in his face or at least later on after he said the words. When we hear the word "love" we think of romantic love or love for our family members or close friends. The Greek word used in the passage though is the one used that means to respect or imagine God's love for them. Even that definition of love is hard to apply to enemies but Jesus was trying to let his listeners know that citizens of the heavenly kingdom love in a way that earthly people cannot understand. What he told them did not make literal sense because he talked about turning a cheek so that others can hit it, giving away your cloak if someone want your coat, and walking 2 miles if someone demands you walk one mile to carry their load. All of those self-giving acts puts the oppressor in a bad light because they receive more than they demanded by force.
Loving an enemy implies wanting the best for them which is again hard to imagine if the person is truly your enemy. Wishing them the best goes against our grain because we want enemies to suffer and die if possible. At least that is the human response to having an enemy and we are all humans, even our enemies. When we try to imagine a heavenly response to an earthly dilemma, however, we attempt to see it through a lens that is like God's view of the world where everyone matters and God has love for all. God's love makes all persons to be seen as valuable, even those whom we may consider an enemy. Attempting to visualize others in a God-like way brings us from labeling another as "enemy" to accepting another even if we would really not want to try.
Going the extra mile is all about carrying a load twice as far as someone else demands. The thought reminds me of a statue that is outside the Cal Farley Boy's Ranch outside of Amarillo, Texas. It has a younger boy riding on the back of an older boy and a motto that reads, "He ain't heavy, he's my brother." A song was made with those same words. When we begin to see others as brother or sister, then the word "enemy" ceases to be one that we can use to describe them. Assisting others to become brothers and sisters is what we are about as citizens of God's Heavenly Kingdom here on earth. God help us all to have eyes that can see the worth in others even when it is the most difficult thing that we think we can do.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Saying Goodbye is Not Always Easy
Last Friday morning we had to say goodbye to a dear friend whom we had known for 15 years. She was a very close friend. She had lived with us in our house for 15 years, had slept in our bedroom, had gone on walks with us, had taken trips to other states with us. She was a dear friend who we accepted as part of our family. If you have not figured it out by now, this dear from was our family dog. We called her Bushy, although the woman who gave her to our family called her Rosebush. She was found wandering the streets of Longview, Texas about 22 years ago when she was just a puppy. This kind woman took her in, cleaned her up, took her to the vet to have her checked over and to get her shots and then put her in her backyard with the other dogs she kept. Bushy learned to fend for herself there along with the big dogs but soon the day came when the kind lady had to let someone else take care of Bushy because she had too many dogs to handle, and that was when she entered our lives.
Bushy was about 7 years old when she came to live with our daughter who was in junior college in Tyler. We had never had a dog that lived in our house and we were hesitant at first but our daughter assured us that she was just "trying her out" so we allowed Bushy to live with us during the trial period. Bushy loved to chase toys and was a very loving affectionate animal as soon as she entered our lives. She was very little trouble at all. She just wanted to be with her owners and keep them company and only needed food to eat and a place to sleep and occasional walks around the block.
Our daughter finished with junior college and left to go to the university 200 miles away and Bushy could not go to her new apartment. Dogs were not allowed there (all I could say was, "How rude!". Some animals are better tenants than some humans who live there...but I digress.) So, Bushy gradually became the dog that belonged to my wife and me. Bushy was very loyal and protective and it felt good to have a dog in the house to protect us in case an intruder should try to enter. She would bark and we would know that someone was on the property, be it the mailman or the plumber or a handy man we had hired. We usually had to restrain her someplace so the workers could do their business and she was always glad when they left.
Bushy moved with us to Weimar when we moved here and she had lived her for almost ten years, the same was we have. We began to notice that her health was deteriorating, though. First she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and began taking a daily pill to keep that in check. Then, she did not seem to hear as well as before and gradually became totally deaf. Her eyesight began to fail and then the seizures set in and it became clear that she was a very old lady and her time with us was short. She began to fall down and could not get up easily and we would hold her until she was calm and she would pace the floor or the yard for an hour or more, restless in her spirit after her seizure. Finally, last Friday after having two seizures in one night we decided that her pain had to end. Her poor old black hair that once shone had turned gray here and there and her eyes were clouded with cataracts.
It was not an easy decision to give up our old friend that lived with us for 15 years but her 22 year old body could not continue to sustain her. My wife and I both found ourselves sobbing as the doctor helped to end her pain and took her tired old body home to rest near the fence in the back yard, in the garden where we will plant a rosebush in tribute to her. As the kind veterinarian told us as he consoled us last Friday, "Animals ask little from us but they give so much in return." He is right. She gave us so much more than we gave to her. She was a friend that stuck closer than a brother in many ways and was always there to greet us and to make us feel better when we felt sad. We will miss her but we will not forget her.
Bushy was about 7 years old when she came to live with our daughter who was in junior college in Tyler. We had never had a dog that lived in our house and we were hesitant at first but our daughter assured us that she was just "trying her out" so we allowed Bushy to live with us during the trial period. Bushy loved to chase toys and was a very loving affectionate animal as soon as she entered our lives. She was very little trouble at all. She just wanted to be with her owners and keep them company and only needed food to eat and a place to sleep and occasional walks around the block.
Our daughter finished with junior college and left to go to the university 200 miles away and Bushy could not go to her new apartment. Dogs were not allowed there (all I could say was, "How rude!". Some animals are better tenants than some humans who live there...but I digress.) So, Bushy gradually became the dog that belonged to my wife and me. Bushy was very loyal and protective and it felt good to have a dog in the house to protect us in case an intruder should try to enter. She would bark and we would know that someone was on the property, be it the mailman or the plumber or a handy man we had hired. We usually had to restrain her someplace so the workers could do their business and she was always glad when they left.
Bushy moved with us to Weimar when we moved here and she had lived her for almost ten years, the same was we have. We began to notice that her health was deteriorating, though. First she was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and began taking a daily pill to keep that in check. Then, she did not seem to hear as well as before and gradually became totally deaf. Her eyesight began to fail and then the seizures set in and it became clear that she was a very old lady and her time with us was short. She began to fall down and could not get up easily and we would hold her until she was calm and she would pace the floor or the yard for an hour or more, restless in her spirit after her seizure. Finally, last Friday after having two seizures in one night we decided that her pain had to end. Her poor old black hair that once shone had turned gray here and there and her eyes were clouded with cataracts.
It was not an easy decision to give up our old friend that lived with us for 15 years but her 22 year old body could not continue to sustain her. My wife and I both found ourselves sobbing as the doctor helped to end her pain and took her tired old body home to rest near the fence in the back yard, in the garden where we will plant a rosebush in tribute to her. As the kind veterinarian told us as he consoled us last Friday, "Animals ask little from us but they give so much in return." He is right. She gave us so much more than we gave to her. She was a friend that stuck closer than a brother in many ways and was always there to greet us and to make us feel better when we felt sad. We will miss her but we will not forget her.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Happiness is.....
What does it take to make you happy? Are you someone who needs a lot of things in order to feel fulfilled or satisfied? Are you the type of person who is constantly looking for the next new thing or who is seeking something but you can never quite put your finger on what is missing?
Happiness is something that each person must define for himself or herself. It is something different for each person because each one of us lives in a different way from others and our measure of happiness that we feel personally has something to do with the way we live. Some cannot be happy unless they have possessions of a certain type or category. Some cannot be happy unless they have a certain person in their life. Some cannot be happy unless they achieve success at a certain level or have a distinction or notoriety about them that others can recognize. Some think that they cannot be happy unless they live a certain lifestyle that cannot be achieved unless they reach a certain income level. Some can be happy with little or nothing and need few material possessions.
My wife and I currently do not own a home. We once owned one but we sold it when I became a minister thinking that we would be moving a lot because the denomination I served at the time moved their pastors often from one parish to another. I have served my current parish for almost ten years now but we live in a home they provide for us (a parsonage) so we have no need for a house at the time. One day in the future still to be determined, I will retire from the ministry and we will need a place to live. We have no idea right now where that place will be and what kind of house we will live in. We have dreams of homes we like--ranch style, hill country rock, country houses, log cabins---but they are simply dreams, things that we like. It may be that at the time we need a house we will not find what we really would like and we settle for something different from what we imagined. Wherever we are, and whatever we call home will be fine with me as long as we are together there and feel safe and comfortable. The size and design of the house will not matter as much as having a place to live together to spend the years into the future together.
Happiness is internal and is a state of being that we can determine for ourselves. Every day when we stand up after getting out of bed and begin a new day is a day we determine whether or not we will be happy. There are factors that affect our feelings of happiness, for sure. Economic, health related, even weather related factors will play a part in shaping our day, but ultimately it is up to us to be the final determiners of how we will perceive these factors.
St. Paul wrote to the church at Philippi and ended his letter with words that have to do with looking at life in a way that promotes internal happiness. "...I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4: 11b-13) Paul recognized his strength was anchored in his faith in God through Jesus Christ. His level of contentment in life had little to do with what he possessed or where he lived or even with how much food he had. It was measured more by how his faith strengthened him in all of life's situations.
Happiness is a choice....I saw that on a poster or bumper sticker long ago. Maybe the words are a bit trite but the meaning of them are not. Happiness is something we determine each day as we live our lives and make choices that will lead us toward happiness or away from it. Contentment is an internal journey that takes us into the future confident in the faith we hold in the one who knows what the future holds for us.
Happiness is something that each person must define for himself or herself. It is something different for each person because each one of us lives in a different way from others and our measure of happiness that we feel personally has something to do with the way we live. Some cannot be happy unless they have possessions of a certain type or category. Some cannot be happy unless they have a certain person in their life. Some cannot be happy unless they achieve success at a certain level or have a distinction or notoriety about them that others can recognize. Some think that they cannot be happy unless they live a certain lifestyle that cannot be achieved unless they reach a certain income level. Some can be happy with little or nothing and need few material possessions.
My wife and I currently do not own a home. We once owned one but we sold it when I became a minister thinking that we would be moving a lot because the denomination I served at the time moved their pastors often from one parish to another. I have served my current parish for almost ten years now but we live in a home they provide for us (a parsonage) so we have no need for a house at the time. One day in the future still to be determined, I will retire from the ministry and we will need a place to live. We have no idea right now where that place will be and what kind of house we will live in. We have dreams of homes we like--ranch style, hill country rock, country houses, log cabins---but they are simply dreams, things that we like. It may be that at the time we need a house we will not find what we really would like and we settle for something different from what we imagined. Wherever we are, and whatever we call home will be fine with me as long as we are together there and feel safe and comfortable. The size and design of the house will not matter as much as having a place to live together to spend the years into the future together.
Happiness is internal and is a state of being that we can determine for ourselves. Every day when we stand up after getting out of bed and begin a new day is a day we determine whether or not we will be happy. There are factors that affect our feelings of happiness, for sure. Economic, health related, even weather related factors will play a part in shaping our day, but ultimately it is up to us to be the final determiners of how we will perceive these factors.
St. Paul wrote to the church at Philippi and ended his letter with words that have to do with looking at life in a way that promotes internal happiness. "...I have learned to be content with whatever I have. I know what it is to have little, and I know what it is to have plenty. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being well-fed and of going hungry, of having plenty and of being in need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4: 11b-13) Paul recognized his strength was anchored in his faith in God through Jesus Christ. His level of contentment in life had little to do with what he possessed or where he lived or even with how much food he had. It was measured more by how his faith strengthened him in all of life's situations.
Happiness is a choice....I saw that on a poster or bumper sticker long ago. Maybe the words are a bit trite but the meaning of them are not. Happiness is something we determine each day as we live our lives and make choices that will lead us toward happiness or away from it. Contentment is an internal journey that takes us into the future confident in the faith we hold in the one who knows what the future holds for us.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Regional Differences
How can people be so different from one another in different areas of the country or the world? I am not talking about how the people from France are different than the people of Germany. That is pretty clear. They speak different languages and have different customs based upon many factors. I am pondering why it is people who lives only one or two hundred miles from one another are so different in so many ways although they share many other commonalities.
Before I moved to my present place of living and work in southern Texas to a rural small town setting midway between Houston and San Antonio, I lived in northeast Texas for almost two decades. When we moved to where we live now, it was like stepping into a new century when we left behind the attitudes and mores that shaped our previous location. The attitudes of the inhabitants of what they call "East Texas" (although it is really Northeast Texas because those people who live just beyond Houston toward Orange also call their area "East Texas" but it is really Southeast Texas, but I digress...) are more similar to their neighbors across the state line in Louisiana or perhaps even more similar to those persons who live in what we call the Deep South rather than with their fellow Texans who live beyond I-45 going west. The common ideas that are shared by most of the population in East Texas are very conservative, despite what ethnic, religious, or socioeconomic factors they may have that could separate them. (I have heard it joked that I-45 is the dividing line and those who live east of it live "Behind the Pine Curtain". There is more truth than humor in that remark.)
I reflected upon this many times when I lived in East Texas but have thought about it even more after moving 230 miles southwest of my previous location. That 4 hour drive took me from 1900 to 2004 (the year I moved) in many ways that I had not considered when I decided to make the move. The county where we lived for 10 years had been "dry" from an alcohol point of view for as long as anyone could remember. In fact, Friday nights always had a continuous line of traffic heading east or south to the county line where persons could buy alcohol because not even beer could be sold in that county. The county seat has always been and still is one of the most segregated larger towns in Texas and perhaps the United States. There are definite economic and social factors that keep it segregated by race and ethnicity that are apparent if one drives around town much. Go in any direction from the courthouse and you can see which ethnic group is dominant by observing the houses in that area.
The social values of that larger small city are apparent too by reading the local newspaper or watching the local television stations. Stories that would be largely ignored in other places are big news in that area. One of my Facebook friends recently posted a story about one of those calendars sold to assist a local charity in which businessmen and city officials stripped to their swimsuits and posed in public places in order to sell calendars. Most people in the area laughed when the calendar appeared for sale in bookstores and businesses but one woman in the city became so upset that she resigned from the board of one of the other charities in town whose director posed in his swimsuit for the calendar. She wrote a scathing letter of resignation which was read in part on the evening news, omitting her name but using her words to highlight how upset she was to see the chairman of this charity with his shirt off for all to see. Some of the men who posed for the calendar were interviewed for the news and they all laughed at the reaction of this woman. She obviously does not like to see the chest of men in their 70s and 80s being displayed for all to see and could not stand to think that a charity she supported would be so bold to allow its leader to parade around for all to see. How rude!
In most cities where firemen or policemen or others show off their bodies on calendars, the physiques of the men being shown are far more attractive than those on this East Texas calendar in question. Perhaps that was her real gripe....if she was going to pay for a calendar to display on the inside of her bedroom closet door, then she wanted to see some real beefcake, not just older men parading around in their swimsuits. The name of the woman with the complaint was not given in the story, of course, but I imagine her to be like many women I encountered when I lived in that city, women with their hair styled the way it has been since 1940 with their pearl necklaces always embracing their necks, and their tasteful expensive dresses always pressed well so that they could have lunch at the country club daily without having to interact with the rest of society that they abhorred to have to live among. Or perhaps it may be their daughters whom they have fully entrenched with their values who may dress differently than they do but still follow the same customs and ideas that their mothers have passed down to them. They volunteer to serve on boards of charities because it makes them "nice, respectable people" but they look down upon anyone in society who may not fit into the cookie cutter mold of what they think society should look like.
So, why are they the way they are and why do their values continue to be the ones that define what life is like in that particular region? Blame it on religion, of course. Blame it on religious groups that continue to teach archaic fundamentalist views of society drawn from very limited examination of what the Scripture really says. Blame it on religious groups who have build huge edifices in which they gather each Sunday to hear their chosen leaders tell them how good and holy they are because they follow those limited views and teachings. Blame it on a segment of society that finds it safe to believe that limited view and believes that such belief will grant them power and control even if their view differs from the mainstream view of the society around them. Blame it on dogma that protects this limited view and thinks that it is what everyone else thinks even when it is apparent that they are far out of touch with reality.
After I moved from this town a decade ago, they did finally pass vote in a wet/dry election to let the population buy beer and wine in supermarkets so they no longer have to make the trek to the county line each weekend much to the displeasure of this same mentality in town. So, they have moved into the 1960s perhaps. Who knows what future date may bring them into the 21st century in other ways? Perhaps there will always be a segment of society that prefers to live in the way of the past. It may be much safer for them to live there than address the challenges of the present time with all the change it brings. I am just glad that I now live in a place where diversity is welcomed in many ways. It is not a perfect place to live but it is one where the welcome does not exclude those who are different in many ways. Even older men who want to mow the lawn without wearing a shirt do not cause the faint of heart to need the services of the emergency room. They just laugh as they drive by.....in a good hearted way.
Before I moved to my present place of living and work in southern Texas to a rural small town setting midway between Houston and San Antonio, I lived in northeast Texas for almost two decades. When we moved to where we live now, it was like stepping into a new century when we left behind the attitudes and mores that shaped our previous location. The attitudes of the inhabitants of what they call "East Texas" (although it is really Northeast Texas because those people who live just beyond Houston toward Orange also call their area "East Texas" but it is really Southeast Texas, but I digress...) are more similar to their neighbors across the state line in Louisiana or perhaps even more similar to those persons who live in what we call the Deep South rather than with their fellow Texans who live beyond I-45 going west. The common ideas that are shared by most of the population in East Texas are very conservative, despite what ethnic, religious, or socioeconomic factors they may have that could separate them. (I have heard it joked that I-45 is the dividing line and those who live east of it live "Behind the Pine Curtain". There is more truth than humor in that remark.)
I reflected upon this many times when I lived in East Texas but have thought about it even more after moving 230 miles southwest of my previous location. That 4 hour drive took me from 1900 to 2004 (the year I moved) in many ways that I had not considered when I decided to make the move. The county where we lived for 10 years had been "dry" from an alcohol point of view for as long as anyone could remember. In fact, Friday nights always had a continuous line of traffic heading east or south to the county line where persons could buy alcohol because not even beer could be sold in that county. The county seat has always been and still is one of the most segregated larger towns in Texas and perhaps the United States. There are definite economic and social factors that keep it segregated by race and ethnicity that are apparent if one drives around town much. Go in any direction from the courthouse and you can see which ethnic group is dominant by observing the houses in that area.
The social values of that larger small city are apparent too by reading the local newspaper or watching the local television stations. Stories that would be largely ignored in other places are big news in that area. One of my Facebook friends recently posted a story about one of those calendars sold to assist a local charity in which businessmen and city officials stripped to their swimsuits and posed in public places in order to sell calendars. Most people in the area laughed when the calendar appeared for sale in bookstores and businesses but one woman in the city became so upset that she resigned from the board of one of the other charities in town whose director posed in his swimsuit for the calendar. She wrote a scathing letter of resignation which was read in part on the evening news, omitting her name but using her words to highlight how upset she was to see the chairman of this charity with his shirt off for all to see. Some of the men who posed for the calendar were interviewed for the news and they all laughed at the reaction of this woman. She obviously does not like to see the chest of men in their 70s and 80s being displayed for all to see and could not stand to think that a charity she supported would be so bold to allow its leader to parade around for all to see. How rude!
In most cities where firemen or policemen or others show off their bodies on calendars, the physiques of the men being shown are far more attractive than those on this East Texas calendar in question. Perhaps that was her real gripe....if she was going to pay for a calendar to display on the inside of her bedroom closet door, then she wanted to see some real beefcake, not just older men parading around in their swimsuits. The name of the woman with the complaint was not given in the story, of course, but I imagine her to be like many women I encountered when I lived in that city, women with their hair styled the way it has been since 1940 with their pearl necklaces always embracing their necks, and their tasteful expensive dresses always pressed well so that they could have lunch at the country club daily without having to interact with the rest of society that they abhorred to have to live among. Or perhaps it may be their daughters whom they have fully entrenched with their values who may dress differently than they do but still follow the same customs and ideas that their mothers have passed down to them. They volunteer to serve on boards of charities because it makes them "nice, respectable people" but they look down upon anyone in society who may not fit into the cookie cutter mold of what they think society should look like.
So, why are they the way they are and why do their values continue to be the ones that define what life is like in that particular region? Blame it on religion, of course. Blame it on religious groups that continue to teach archaic fundamentalist views of society drawn from very limited examination of what the Scripture really says. Blame it on religious groups who have build huge edifices in which they gather each Sunday to hear their chosen leaders tell them how good and holy they are because they follow those limited views and teachings. Blame it on a segment of society that finds it safe to believe that limited view and believes that such belief will grant them power and control even if their view differs from the mainstream view of the society around them. Blame it on dogma that protects this limited view and thinks that it is what everyone else thinks even when it is apparent that they are far out of touch with reality.
After I moved from this town a decade ago, they did finally pass vote in a wet/dry election to let the population buy beer and wine in supermarkets so they no longer have to make the trek to the county line each weekend much to the displeasure of this same mentality in town. So, they have moved into the 1960s perhaps. Who knows what future date may bring them into the 21st century in other ways? Perhaps there will always be a segment of society that prefers to live in the way of the past. It may be much safer for them to live there than address the challenges of the present time with all the change it brings. I am just glad that I now live in a place where diversity is welcomed in many ways. It is not a perfect place to live but it is one where the welcome does not exclude those who are different in many ways. Even older men who want to mow the lawn without wearing a shirt do not cause the faint of heart to need the services of the emergency room. They just laugh as they drive by.....in a good hearted way.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
A Fish Out of Water
Mark Twain wrote a book called, "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court". It has been made into a motion picture at least once. It tells the story of a man who is transported back in time to medieval times in the land where King Arthur reigns. This man decides that he can use the knowledge he has of the modern age from whence he came to perform "magic" for the people in the medieval age so he does things that are common to his era that the medieval people have never seen and they believe he is a magician. All goes well until the tide of public opinion turns against him because someone accuses him of being a witch. He does not seem to fit in because he is not "one of them" and is an outsider to the people of that age. His speech and habits are strange to those who live in that era and they do not trust him because of his differences.
Many of us have been outsiders. I have constantly been one throughout life because I have lived in several different places. Each time I have moved I have started over getting to know people and have often found that I do not speak just the way others do or have habits, behaviors, or characteristics that are different than those who have always lived in the place to where I moved.
There are times that you feel as if you are an outsider even if you return to the place where you grew up. I was visiting with my mother a few years ago just after my father had passed away. She needed some items from the local grocery store and I volunteered to go buy them for her. She told me to go to the grocery store where we had shopped when I was growing up because they had certain items at sale prices she wanted me to pick up so I drove to the store and walked through its aisles and gathered up all the items she wanted. I took them to the clerk at the check out counter who began to ring them up. She finished and began to bag the items when she looked at me and said, "You're not from around here, are you?" I laughed and said, "Well, yes and no. I grew up here but have lived away for over 30 years so I guess I am not from here." She asked me my mother's name and said she thought she knew here and I said most likely she did and then left to return to my mother's house.
I did some thinking about that interaction with that store clerk. I am not from that town anymore, that is for sure. I left there emotionally years ago and have never returned except to say goodbye to my sister, father, and brother. I have visited there bodily many times over the years but never really belonged. The town I grew up in no longer exists. It has changed as much as I have changed since I left there. I can walk its streets and rarely see anyone I know because its population has multiplied five times over since I was a child there. There are far more "new people" than the people I knew when I was growing up there.
I guess I am really not from anywhere in particular but from everywhere also. I guess I belong to no place but I am a part of every place. I live where I do now because I work there but I am also a part of the community by virtue of my position within the community. Some of the community practices were new to me when I arrived but I have learned to accept them as normal because those who lived here before I arrived consider them to be normal. Many words were new to me because they derive from European languages spoken by those who lived here in the past and have been passed down through the generations.
I was the new guy for the past ten years but now I belong even if I am an outsider. I belong because some people have accepted me as part of their own inside group. I belong because even a fish out of water can find renewal in any pond or puddle or stream if it discovered what is needed for life in that location. Life in the here and now requires friendship, love, and respect and I have found them where I live. I had those same things in other places too but find nourishment for the present in the present circumstances I have chosen as my own.
(...I have learned to be content with whatever I have...) Philippians 4:11
Many of us have been outsiders. I have constantly been one throughout life because I have lived in several different places. Each time I have moved I have started over getting to know people and have often found that I do not speak just the way others do or have habits, behaviors, or characteristics that are different than those who have always lived in the place to where I moved.
There are times that you feel as if you are an outsider even if you return to the place where you grew up. I was visiting with my mother a few years ago just after my father had passed away. She needed some items from the local grocery store and I volunteered to go buy them for her. She told me to go to the grocery store where we had shopped when I was growing up because they had certain items at sale prices she wanted me to pick up so I drove to the store and walked through its aisles and gathered up all the items she wanted. I took them to the clerk at the check out counter who began to ring them up. She finished and began to bag the items when she looked at me and said, "You're not from around here, are you?" I laughed and said, "Well, yes and no. I grew up here but have lived away for over 30 years so I guess I am not from here." She asked me my mother's name and said she thought she knew here and I said most likely she did and then left to return to my mother's house.
I did some thinking about that interaction with that store clerk. I am not from that town anymore, that is for sure. I left there emotionally years ago and have never returned except to say goodbye to my sister, father, and brother. I have visited there bodily many times over the years but never really belonged. The town I grew up in no longer exists. It has changed as much as I have changed since I left there. I can walk its streets and rarely see anyone I know because its population has multiplied five times over since I was a child there. There are far more "new people" than the people I knew when I was growing up there.
I guess I am really not from anywhere in particular but from everywhere also. I guess I belong to no place but I am a part of every place. I live where I do now because I work there but I am also a part of the community by virtue of my position within the community. Some of the community practices were new to me when I arrived but I have learned to accept them as normal because those who lived here before I arrived consider them to be normal. Many words were new to me because they derive from European languages spoken by those who lived here in the past and have been passed down through the generations.
I was the new guy for the past ten years but now I belong even if I am an outsider. I belong because some people have accepted me as part of their own inside group. I belong because even a fish out of water can find renewal in any pond or puddle or stream if it discovered what is needed for life in that location. Life in the here and now requires friendship, love, and respect and I have found them where I live. I had those same things in other places too but find nourishment for the present in the present circumstances I have chosen as my own.
(...I have learned to be content with whatever I have...) Philippians 4:11
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
News from the Northwest- Sunbreaks!
There are so many wonderful parts of this country and each one is unique. Our daughter and son in law live near Seattle, Washington in one of the high tech corridors that has just about everything a person may want or need in order to be comfortable. One thing that they have a shortage of, however, especially in the winter, is sunshine. The weather reporter on the newscast often says the weather will be "Cloudy with a chance of sunbreaks". I love that word! I had never heard the word "sunbreaks" used until we visited them about five years ago and heard the it being broadcast.
Sunbreaks happen when the sun breaks through the clouds for a moment or two. It is often almost undetected because it happens so quickly. The sky will be so cloudy that you cannot see any blue sky at all, just dark gray everywhere and then when you look up, there is a tiny bit of blue with the sun shining through it, then it is quickly gone. It may also be that you can see the sun shining somehow through the clouds without being absolutely clear with almost an image that you would think is an eclipse of the sun. I saw both of those while we were visiting in the Seattle area. Just as quickly as the sun shone through, it was gone once again.
Sunbreaks are those aha events that make you pay attention. Your day may be covered with the dark gray of the clouds and then a little light shines through it all as if to speak softly to your spirit. A sunbreak may even stick around for more than a minute or two and suddenly you find yourself and others looking up into the sky, as if seeing some strange object for the first time.
Sunbreaks could be used as a metaphor for all the things in life that cause us to stop and pay attention in the midst of all the ordinary that happens in our lives. We often get bogged down in the gray routine of life and do not notice the small things that break into our existence even as the sun shines through the clouds for just a moment or two. A sunbreak could be that beautiful red cardinal that I saw today when I was at home for lunch and looked out into my backyard. It was sitting on a gazing ball that we have in our garden area where few plants are living right now. It perched there for a few minutes, not paying attention to our two dogs who were walking not too far from its perch. The beauty of its red feathers brightened up our cold day until it finally flew up into a tree.
Perhaps a sunbreak is a person in your life who lifts your spirits or gives you something to think about that invigorates your life for a bit. My wife and I stayed at a bed and breakfast for a few of the days we were visiting our daughter and son in law so as not to be such a burden on them (remember the words of Ben Franklin--"Fish and visitors begin to smell after 3 days.") and our host and hostess at the B&B were two delightful people to get to know. They were both so caring and creative, ready to respond to any need we had in order to make our stay with them more comfortable. Their home was immaculate and their friendliness brightened up each day as we visited with them over breakfast. They were sunbreaks whose warmth went with us as we ventured out each day to walk in the misty air that often is present there. We arrived as guests but departed as friends because of their warm care.
Sunbreaks are usually totally unexpected. Even though the forecasters may have predicted that a sunbreak could happen, he or she never could predict when or where they would happen. The sunbreaks in our lives are that way. We never know the source of them until they happen. Then, we are filled with light and warmth because of their unexpected presence. We bask in the feeling that they bring and enjoy every moment.
We can be the recipients of sunbreaks from the world around us and from others in our world but we can also be the ones who cause others to enjoy sunbreaks in the dark and cloudy world in which we live. Our lives can be producers of sunbreaks as we share the joy we have and lend a helping hand to those who may be needy. We can allow the light we have received to shine through our lives so others will suddenly stop and pay attention and marvel at the light shining on them, as if they have seen it for the first time in their lives. And, for some, perhaps it is.
"You are the light of the world...let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." Matthew 5: 14a, 16)
Sunbreaks happen when the sun breaks through the clouds for a moment or two. It is often almost undetected because it happens so quickly. The sky will be so cloudy that you cannot see any blue sky at all, just dark gray everywhere and then when you look up, there is a tiny bit of blue with the sun shining through it, then it is quickly gone. It may also be that you can see the sun shining somehow through the clouds without being absolutely clear with almost an image that you would think is an eclipse of the sun. I saw both of those while we were visiting in the Seattle area. Just as quickly as the sun shone through, it was gone once again.
Sunbreaks are those aha events that make you pay attention. Your day may be covered with the dark gray of the clouds and then a little light shines through it all as if to speak softly to your spirit. A sunbreak may even stick around for more than a minute or two and suddenly you find yourself and others looking up into the sky, as if seeing some strange object for the first time.
Sunbreaks could be used as a metaphor for all the things in life that cause us to stop and pay attention in the midst of all the ordinary that happens in our lives. We often get bogged down in the gray routine of life and do not notice the small things that break into our existence even as the sun shines through the clouds for just a moment or two. A sunbreak could be that beautiful red cardinal that I saw today when I was at home for lunch and looked out into my backyard. It was sitting on a gazing ball that we have in our garden area where few plants are living right now. It perched there for a few minutes, not paying attention to our two dogs who were walking not too far from its perch. The beauty of its red feathers brightened up our cold day until it finally flew up into a tree.
Perhaps a sunbreak is a person in your life who lifts your spirits or gives you something to think about that invigorates your life for a bit. My wife and I stayed at a bed and breakfast for a few of the days we were visiting our daughter and son in law so as not to be such a burden on them (remember the words of Ben Franklin--"Fish and visitors begin to smell after 3 days.") and our host and hostess at the B&B were two delightful people to get to know. They were both so caring and creative, ready to respond to any need we had in order to make our stay with them more comfortable. Their home was immaculate and their friendliness brightened up each day as we visited with them over breakfast. They were sunbreaks whose warmth went with us as we ventured out each day to walk in the misty air that often is present there. We arrived as guests but departed as friends because of their warm care.
Sunbreaks are usually totally unexpected. Even though the forecasters may have predicted that a sunbreak could happen, he or she never could predict when or where they would happen. The sunbreaks in our lives are that way. We never know the source of them until they happen. Then, we are filled with light and warmth because of their unexpected presence. We bask in the feeling that they bring and enjoy every moment.
We can be the recipients of sunbreaks from the world around us and from others in our world but we can also be the ones who cause others to enjoy sunbreaks in the dark and cloudy world in which we live. Our lives can be producers of sunbreaks as we share the joy we have and lend a helping hand to those who may be needy. We can allow the light we have received to shine through our lives so others will suddenly stop and pay attention and marvel at the light shining on them, as if they have seen it for the first time in their lives. And, for some, perhaps it is.
"You are the light of the world...let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven." Matthew 5: 14a, 16)
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